Monday, April 6, 2009

Breakup Playlist

This is a list of songs that when I was going through my divorce made my life a little better. Some of them are of the “I am thinking of you and missing you.” persuasion, many of them are more in the genre of “Fuck you, you cheating jerk!" and some are just reassuring "Everything's gonna be alright." I also put some of my favorites in bold, and called out some of the lyrics that mean the most to me. As Martin Luther King, Jr. Said “My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary.” I have linked the songs to their Amazon mp3 download pages, in case you want to duplicate this playlist for yourself.

So, in no particular order:

  • Belinda Carlisle – Heaven Is A Place On Earth
  • Willie Nelson - Always On My Mind
    • Maybe I didn't treat you
      Quite as good as I should have
      Maybe I didn't love you
      Quite as often as I could have
      Little things I should have said and done
      I just never took the time
      You were always on my mind
  • Johnny Cash – You Are My Sunshine
  • Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald – Let's Call The Whole Thing Off
  • Nelly McKay – I Wanna Get Married
  • Roberta Flack – Killing Me Softly With His Song (Remastered Version)
  • Amy Winehouse – Wake Up Alone
    • It's okay in the day I'm staying busy
      Tied up enough so I don't have to wonder where is he
      Got so sick of crying
      So just lately
      When I catch myself I do a 180
      I stay up clean the house
      At least I'm not drinking
      Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking
      That silent sense of content
      That everyone gets
      Just disappears soon as the sun sets
  • Jordin Sparks – No Air duet with Chris Brown
    • But How
      Do you expect me
      To live alone with just me
      Cause my world revolves around you
      its so hard for me to breathe
  • Alanis Morisette – Hand In My Pocket
    • I'm broke but
      I'm happy
      I'm poor but I'm kind
      I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
      'm high but I'm grounded
      I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
      I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
    • What it all
      comes down to
      Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
      I've got one hand in my pocket
      And the other one is giving a high
    • I feel drunk
      but I'm sober
      I'm young and I'm underpaid
      I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
      I care but I'm worthless
      I'm here but I'm really gone
    • I'm wrong and
      I'm sorry baby
    • I'm free but
      I'm focused
      I'm green but I'm wise
      I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
      I'm sad but I'm laughing
      I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
      I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
  • Alanis Morisette - You Oughta Know
    • And every time
      you speak her name
      Does she know how you told me
      You'd hold me until you died
      Till you died, but you're still alive
    • And I'm here,
      to remind you
      Of the mess you left when you went away
    • You seem very
      well, things look peaceful
      I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
      Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
      I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
      It was a slap in the face
      How quickly I was replaced
      And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
  • Jewel – You Were Meant for Me
    • I got my eggs and my
      pancakes too
      I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
      I break the yolks, make a smiley face
      I kinda like it in my brand new place
      I wipe the spots off the mirror
      Don't leave the keys in the door
      Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause
      Dreams last for so long
      even after you're gone
  • Belle & Sebastien – Family Tree
  • Phil Vassar – I Would
    • If I could take it all and
      change it
      Take the past and rearrange it I would, baby, yes, I would
      If I could figure out the reason
      Go back in time and change the season I would
      Baby, yes, I would
  • Leona Lewis – Better In Time
    • It's been the
      longest winter without you
      I didn't know where to turn to
      See somehow I can't forget you
      After all that we've been through
    • Thought I
      couldn't live without you
      It's gonna hurt when it heals too
      It'll all get better in time
      Even though I really love you
      I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
      It'll all get better in time
    • I couldn't
      turn on the TV
      Without something there to remind me
      Was it all that easy
      To just put aside your feelings
    • Since there's
      no more you and me
      It's time I let you go
      So I can be free
      And live my life how it should be
      No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
      Yes I will
  • Gin Blossoms – Hey Jealousy
    • You can trust
      me not to drink
      And not to sleep around
      And if you don't expect too much form me
      You might not be let down
    • Cos all I
      really want's to be with you
      And feel like I matter too
      If I didn't blow the whole thing years ago
      I might be here with you
  • Sara Bareilles – Love Song
    • I'm not gonna write you a
      love song
      'cause you tell me it's a
      Make or break in this
      If you're on your way
      I'm not gonna write you to stay
      If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
      Reason to write you
      A love song today
      Today, yeah
    • I learned the hard way
      That they all say things you want to hear
      My heavy heart sinks deep down under
      You and your twisted words,
      Your help just hurts
      You are not what I thought you were
      Hello to high and dry
      Convinced me to please you
      Made me think that I need this too
      I'm trying to let you hear me as I am
  • Natasha Bedingfield – Unwritten
  • Jason Mraz – I'm Yours
  • Lisa Loeb – Stay
    • And you say I
      only hear what I want to:
      I don't listen hard,
      don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
      to anyone, anywhere,
      I don't understand if you really care,
      I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
  • Everything – Time Will Heal Me
    • Time will heal me, time will save my soul
      Time will heal me, time will make me whole
  • Demi Lovato – Get Back
    • Don’t look at me that way
      I see it in your eyes
      Don’t worry about me
      I’ve been fine
      I’m not gonna lie
      I’ve been a mess
      Since you left
      And every time
      I see you
      It gets more
      And more intense
  • Lily Allen - Fuck You [Explicit]
    • Look inside,
      look inside your tiny mind
      and look a bit harder
      cause we’re so uninspired
      so sick and tired
      of all the hatred you harbor
    • do you get, do
      you get a little kick out of being small-minded?
      you want to be like your father
      it’s approval you’re after
      well that’s not how you’ll find it
    • do you, do you
      really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful
      cause there’s a hole where your soul should be
      you’re losing control of it
      and it’s really distasteful
  • Regina Spektor – Ode To Divorce (Album Version)
  • John Cale – Hallelujah
    • Maybe there's a God above,
      all I ever learned from love
      Was how to shoot at someone who out drew you
      And it's not a cry you can hear at night
      It's not somebody who's seen the light
      It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
  • Carly Simon - You're So Vain
    • You had one eye in the mirror
      As you watched yourself gavotte
  • Lily Allen – Smile [Explicit]
    • When you first left me I
      was wanting more
      But you were fucking that girl next door, what cha do that for (what cha
      do that for)
      When you first left me I didn't know what to say
      I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day
    • I was so lost back then
      But with a little help from my friends
      I found a light in the tunnel at the end
  • Alice DeeJay – Better Off Alone
  • Shontelle – T-Shirt
    • nothing feels right when im not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
      taking them off cause i feel a fool, trying to dress up when im missing you.
      ima step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
      in bed i lay, with nothing but your T-shirt on.
      oh, with nothing but your T-shirt on.
    • hey, gotta be strong gotta be strong but i'm, really hurting now that you're gone.
    • trying to decide, trying to decide if i, really wanna go out tonight.
      i couldn't even leave my apartment, i'm stripped down torn up about it.
  • Liz Phair – Divorce Song
    • And the license said you had to stick around until I was dead
      But if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am
  • Pink – So What [Explicit]
    • I guess I just lost my
      I don't know where he went
      So I'm gonna drink my money
      I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
    • I got a brand new attitude
      And I'm gonna wear it tonight
    • So what!
      I'm still a rock star
      I got my rock moves
      And I don't need you
      And guess what?
      I'm havin' more fun
      And now that we're done
      I'm gonna show you
      I'm alright
      I'm just fine
      And you're a tool
    • You weren’t there
      You never were
      You want it all
      But that’s not fair
      I gave you life
      I gave my all
      You weren’t there
      You let me fall
  • O.A.R - Shattered [Turn The Car Around]
    • But
      I'm good without ya
      Yeah, I'm good without you
      Yeah, yeah, yeah
    • How many times can I break till I shatter?
  • The All American Rejects – Gives You Hell
    • Truth be told I miss you
      Truth be told I'm lying
    • When you see my face
      I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
      When you walk my way
      I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
    • If you find a man thats worth the damn and treats you well
      Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell
      Hope it gives you hell
  • Green Day – Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
    • Another turning point, a
      fork stuck in the road
      Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
      So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
      It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
    • It's something
      unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
      I hope you had the time of your life.
  • Carrie Underwood – Before He Cheats
    • Right now, he's probably
      slow dancing with a
      bleached-blonde tramp
      And she's probably getting frisky
      Right now he's probably buying her some Fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey
      Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick showing her how
      to shoot a combo
    • Maybe next time he'll
      think before he cheats
    • I might've saved a little
      trouble for the next girl
      A 'cause the next time that he cheats
      Oh, you know it won't be on me
  • Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me [Explicit]
  • 4 Non Blondes – What's Up?
    • And So I cry sometimes
      when I'm lying in bed
      JUST To get it all out what's in my head
      AND I, I Am feeling a little peculiar
      AND So I wake in the morning and I step
      Outside AND I take deep breath
      AND I get real high
      And I scream from the top of my lungs
      What's goin' on
    • And I try, oh my God do I
      I try all the time
      In this institution
      And I pray, oh my God do I pray
      I pray every single day
      For a revolution
  • Violent Femmes - Kiss Off
    • I need someone, a person
      to talk to
      Someone who'd care to love
    • I take one one one 'cause you left me
      And two two two for my family
      And 3 3 3 for my heartache
      And 4 4 4 for my headaches
      And 5 5 5 for my lonely
      And 6 6 6 for my sorrow
      And 7 7 7 for no tomorrow
      And 8 8 8 I forget what 8 was for
      And 9 9 9 for a lost god
      And 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything
  • Kelis - Caught Out There [Explicit]
    • I hate you so much right now
  • Beyonce - Irreplaceable
    • Everything you own in the
      box to the left
      In the closet that's my stuff, yes
      If I bought it please don't touch
  • Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around.../...Comes Around Interlude
    • You know I gave you the world
      You had me in the palm of your hand
      So why your love went away
      I just can't seem to understand
      Thought it was me and you babe
      Me and you until the end
      But I guess I was wrong
    • Don't want to think about it
      Don't want to talk about it
      I'm just so sick about it
      Can't believe it's ending this way
      Just so confused about it
      Feeling the blues about it
      I just can't do without ya
      Tell me is this fair?
    • Is this the way it's
      really going down?
      Is this how we say goodbye?
      Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that
      you were gonna make me cry)
      That you were going to make me cry
      Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
      'Cause I know that you're living a lie
      That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
    • What goes around, goes
      around, goes around
      Comes all the way back around
  • Rolling Stones – You Can't Always Get What You Want
  • Beth Orton – Ooh Child (Alternate Version)
    • Ooh child things
      are gonna get easier
      Ooh child things will be brighter
    • Someday, yeah,
      we'll put it together and we'll get it undone
      Someday when your head is much lighter
      Someday, yeah, we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
      Someday when the world is much brighter
  • Bob Marley – Three Little Birds
    • "Don't worry about a thing,
      'Cause every little thing gonna be alright.
      Singing': "Don't worry about a thing,
      'Cause every little thing gonna be alright!"
  • UB40 – Red Red Wine (12'' Version)
    • I have sworn every time
      Thoughts of you would leave my head
      I was wrong, now I've found
      Just one thing makes me forget...
    • Red red wine
      Stay close to me
      Don't let me be alone
      It's tearing apart
      My blue blue heart
  • Blu Cantrell – Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!) (Remix Radio Mix)
    • (Oops) There goes the dreams we used to say
      (Oops) There goes the time we spent away
      (Oops) There goes the
      love I had but you cheated on me
      And that's for that now
      (Oops) There goes the house we made a home
      (Oops) There goes you'll never leave me alone
    • For all the lies you told
      This is what you owe
    • While he was braggin'
      I was comin' down the hill and just draggin'
      All his pictures and his clothes in the bag and
      Sold everything 'til there was just nothing left
      And I paid
      All the bills about a month too late
      It's a shame we have to play these games
      love we had just fades away, away
  • Whitney Houston – It's Not Right But It's Okay
  • Kanye West - Heartless
  • CherIf I Could Turn Back Time
    • If I could turn back time
      If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay
    • I don't know why I did the
      things I did I don't know why I said the things I said
      Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
      Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.
  • Cher - Believe
    • Do you believe in life
      after love
      I can feel something inside me say
      I really don't think you're strong enough now,
    • What am I supposed to do
      Sit around and wait for you
      Well I can't do that
      And there's no turning back
      I need time to move on
      I need love to feel strong
      'Cause I've had time to think it through
      And maybe I'm too good for you, oh
    • Well I know that I'll get
      through this
      'Cause I know that I am strong
      And I don't need you anymore
  • Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
    • But Since U Been Gone
      I can breathe for the first time
      I'm so moving on
      Yeah, yeah
      Thanks to you
      Now I get
      What I want
      Since U Been Gone
  • Whitesnake - Here I Go Again
    • Tho' I keep searching for an answer
      I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
      Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
      'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.
    • Here I go again on my own
      goin' down the only road I've ever known.
      Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
      An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.
    • Just another heart in need of rescue
      waiting on love's sweet charity
      an' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
      'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.
  • Bananarama – Cruel Summer
    • It's a cruel, (cruel,) cruel summer
      Leaving me here on my own
      It's a cruel, (it's a cruel,) cruel summer
      Now you're gone
  • Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse Of The Heart
  • Janis Joplin - Piece Of My Heart
    • Didn’t I make you feel
      like you were the only man —yeah!
      Didn’t I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can ?
      Honey, you know I did!
  • J. Geils Band - Love Stinks
  • Air Supply - All Out Of Love
  • Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You
  • JoJo - Leave (Get Out)
  • Weird Al Yankovic - One More Minute
    • Well, I heard
      that you're leavin',
      Gonna leave me far behind,
      'Cause you found a brand new lover,
      You decided that I'm not your kind,
    • So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex,
      And I tore all your pictures in two,
      And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go,
      Just because it reminds me of you.
    • That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'.
      I'm glad that you found somebody new,
      'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass,
      Than spend one more minute with you.
    • I guess I might seem kinda bitter.
      You got me feelin' down in the dumps.
      'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the Gas Station of Love,
      And I have to use the self-service pumps!
    • Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase.
      You ain't gonna break my heart in two.
      'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face,
      Than spend one more minute with you.
    • I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork,
      Than watch you going out with other men.
      I'd rather slam my fingers in a door,
      Again and again and again and again and again.
    • I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches,
      Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two.
      I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue,
      Than spend one more minute with you.
    • Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks,
      Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue.
      I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades,
      Than spend one more minute with you.
    • I'd rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands
      and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die...
      Than spend one more minute with you.
  • Sheryl Crow - My Favorite Mistake
  • Sheryl Crow - No One Said It Would Be Easy
    • No one said it would be easy
      But no one said it'd be this hard
  • The Beatles - Yesterday
  • Katy Perry - Hot N Cold
  • Gloria Gaynor - I will survive
    • At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
      Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
      But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong,
      and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.
    • It took all the strength I had not to fall apart,
      And tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my
      broken heart.
      And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself, I used to cry
      But now I hold my head up high,
  • Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back) (Georgie's Anthem Mix) [Explicit]
    • I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
      Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel
    • Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
      Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
      Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
      Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back
    • Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
      It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a ho
  • Eminem - Puke [Explicit]
    • You're a fuckin' coke-head slut, I hope you fuckin' die
      I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye
      I hate your fuckin' guts, you fuckin' slut, I hope you die
      But please don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or mad
      It's not that I still love you, it's not 'cause I want you back
      It's just that when I think of you, it makes me wanna
      What else can I do, I haven't got a clue
      Now I guess I'll just move on, I have no choice but to
      But every time I think of you now, All I wanna do
      Is pu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uke
  • Pearl Jam - Better Man
  • Joss Stone - You Had Me
  • Michael Bublé - Feeling Good
    • Birds flying high
      You know how I feel
      Sun in the sky
      You know how I feel
      Breeze driftin' on by
      You know how I feel
      It's a new dawn
      It's a new day
      It's a new life
      For me
      And I'm feeling good
    • Stars when you shine
      You know how I feel
      Scent of the pine
      You know how I feel
      Oh freedom is mine
      And I know how I feel
      It's a new dawn
      It's a new day
      It's a new life
      For me


Sara Barron said...

Oh, look at that, she's having a melodramatic 7th grade KJ-moment!

Now I must wonder aloud why some songs didn't make the cut:

Isn't there a classic country song, or at least a great line in that song, something like, "If you don't go away and leave me alone, I'll find someone else who will"?

And that Matchbox 20 song, "If You're Gone"?

And what about "Torn" by Natalie Imbr-[something]? That's breaky-upy, isn't it? I really liked that song.

My own melodramatic 7th grade-moment: Listened to "Torn" a few times when I was 18, in early 1998 in a music store in San Diego, in the big, mostly outdoor, mall, Horton Plaza, I think it was called. That and the Green Day song, "Time of Your Life." I'd take a taxi from Rosarito, MX, to the Tijuana/San Ysidro border, the trolley to downtown San Diego, go to the public library, maybe do some errands or whatever while I was in America, and maybe stop in that one music store in Horton Plaza where they'd have headphones set up next to select albums. I really liked those 2 songs, "Torn" and "Time of Your Life," and I think "Torn" qualifies as break upish, right? She's singing about somebody. Something about "I'm all out of faith," she must be out of faith with some guy.

I really rambled. Sorry.

Wally said...

Isn't 'making your life better' a little like falling in love? I mean in the following sense: it doesn't happen at one moment but is often discovered that way - after the fact - and we can't necessarily know its nature while in the midst of it...

Which is only to say, divorces happen, bullshit happens, change and collapse and rebirth and loss and eruption and restriction happen, and (as a Nazi rocket scientist once said) nature knows neither creation nor destruction but transformation. You can't 'make' your life one or another thing; living joyfully is enough. And I wish you - along with a happy birthday - luck in that pursuit. :)

Anonymous said...


Alanis has the best breakup music! She really knows how to say f@@ck you. said...

i'd have to recommend a song by And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, Mistakes and Regrets, as a worthy choice for lists like these.

dig the blog, katie! nice work.