Vegan Soyrizo Tacos

We had family over tonight for dinner, and I made this up on the fly using ingredients we had in the house. It was a hit with the vegetarians and omnivores alike, and had folks going back for seconds! I typed up the recipe to recreate again sometime! The two specialty ingredients in this really made it. One was the Soy Chorizo from Trader Joe's. I was anticipating the kind of chorizo that is a sausage you can slice, but I was thrown off that this was like a ground meat product once you removed the casing as instructed. It ended up being a blessing as it converted a boring grain dish in to TACO TUESDAY! It was really flavorful, with a strong salt and cumin flavor that meant the whole dish required no additional seasoning.

The second special item was a bag of "Earthly Grains Quick Cook 5 Grains" from Aldi. It has spelt, barley, wheat, rice, and wholegrain oats. I've seen these at a couple Aldi's, but as with all things Aldi they are ephemeral and you might not find them. Any healthy grain - quinoa, farro, freekeh, wheatberries, brown rice, etc. would do nicely, but I'd recommend some of the larger. chewier ones for the texture. 

Vegan Chorizo (Soyrizo) Tacos

1 package Earthly Grains 5 Grain Blend (or 1.5 cups dry grains of your choice)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 bunch fresh spinach, stems removed
1 medium onion, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
1 package Trader Joe's Chorizo
1 bag (10 oz) frozen corn
1 can (~16 oz) great northern beans (or canellini beans/white kidney beans)
1 tomato, chopped
1 can (6 oz) black olives, sliced
20 small taco size tortillas (flour or corn)
Grated soy cheese, as desired

Prepare the grains according to the package. While the grains cook, in a large pan, heat 1 tbsp olive oil. Cook the spinach until wilted, and set aside. Add another tablespoon olive oil and sautee the onions on medium until slightly translucent and browned. Add the green pepper and cook another few minutes. Remove the casing from the soyrizo and add to the pan, stirring to break up the crumbles. After a few minutes add the frozen corn and cook until thawed. Add in the beans, tomato, olives and spinach, stirring to combine. Add the chorizo mixture to the grains and fill tacos with the mixture and top with cheese.

This made a LOT of food, and I bet it would freeze well rolled up burrito style to reheat later. Speaking of reheating, I'll have to add a picture of the final product when I have the leftovers!

I Picked a Peck of Pickled... Radishes?

With my radish crop becoming ripe, I found myself with more radishes than I could possibly consume on my own. The best way I could think of to extend the life of my produce was to pickle them. Last night I did just that.

I first harvested all the radishes. There were a handful that were still too small, and may never full develop, but the yield from my twelve square feet of garden (after having already picked enough for a snack and a side dish) was well over 100 radishes. And I still have time to replant in that same square footage, if I wanted (and I probably will). Those hundred radishes resulted in 7 jars of pickles, with three of those having carrots mixed in. It would have been six 16 oz. jars of all-radish pickles.

I decided to try a couple different recipes, since I have no clue what the result would be. Naturally, I turned to pinterest and found two promising variations. One was a basic pickle, using apple cider vinegar and honey. The other was a more Asian style using rice vinegar and sugar.

I began by prepping all my radishes, removing the greens and roots. The chickens and goats seemed to enjoy those, so there is no waste! Then I sliced all the radishes to about 1/8" thickness using my mandolin, which made them nice and consistently sized, and saved me a bunch of time, I'm sure. Radishes are so small that it was a little difficult to use the hand guard thing, but I've watched enough food network to know you should never use a mandolin with your bare hands.

For the first recipe, courtesy of gardentherapy.ca, I stayed pretty true to the recipe except I used pickling salt instead of sea salt. I'm hoping the amounts required to get a good brine are pretty consistent between those two.

For the more Asian version, I modified slightly a recipe I found on the Whole Foods website to use ingredients I had on hand. Those jars contain a mixture of 2/3 radishes and 1/3 carrots. I omitted the cucumber, chilies, ginger, and onion - all of which would make them way more delicious but I didn't have the foresight to pick them up at the store. Next time! I also played with the pickling juice a bit and tested three variations:

1. Rice vinegar and pickling salt
2. Seasoned rice vinegar and pickling salt
3. Seasoned rice vinegar and pink Hawaiian salt

They are in the fridge now, since both recipes are considered "quick pickles" and are not meant for long term storage. They should be ready to try by tomorrow! I'll report back with the results. fingers crossed!

Everything's Coming up Radishes

Establishing a new farm takes a lot of patience. Waiting for the seasons to change, baby animals to grow, and gardens to start producing a bountiful harvest all require a huge investment of time and energy before there is any tangible reward. At the advice of our local Ag Extension office, I planned to get the seeds in the ground for our garden on or around April 15th. Well, mother nature had a different plan and dumped two weeks of rain on us right when I'd hoped to plant. Once the rain cleared and I was able to till the garden patch, the seeds finally went in the ground, right at the end of April. And then I waited. With no previous experience with the local soil, and never having planted a garden this big or varied, I have no idea what to expect.

Our garden has somewhere around 70 varieties of produce planted, the bulk of which are seeds from a kit we purchased a while ago that was intended as something you could keep stored in the event of societal collapse ... or if you just wanted a crap ton of seeds that were heirloom varieties. Because the kit came pre-assembled, it included many items I would have probably passed over when browsing the seed racks at the local shop, such as Swiss chard or radishes. Radishes have never held much of an appeal to me. I have never scooped a single radish on to my plate at the salad bar. I'm not sure why, perhaps just ignorance. But into the ground radish seeds went, figuring what the heck, if nothing else I'd find a radish-loving neighbor.

Lo and behold, the first green sprouts to show their leafy faces, were the radishes. They grew quickly and plentifully. I checked my notes, and realized the radish takes only 21-28 days to mature. Which means, a month into my garden I've already had my first harvest! I sampled some of the young radishes, which were so surprisingly tender and moist. I ate those sliced with some salt, and when I shared photos of my small bounty, my friends asked what recipe I would be preparing. Recipe? You mean radishes can be used for something other than salad garnish? A quick scan of pinterest revealed a slew of options for these mysterious quick-growing root vegetables.

Tonight I pulled a huge bunch of radishes fresh from the garden. Tom wanted to grill, and I didn't have time to run to the store to pick up corn or potatoes, or another staple grilling accompaniment. I know that anything you roast you can just ass easily do in a foil packet on the grill, Radishes aren't all that different from potatoes, right? 

I washed the bunch of radishes, removed the roots and greens, and quartered them. I tossed the radishes in the foil packet with a drizzle of olive oil, some salt and pepper, and a sprinkling of garlic powder for good measure. I decided to keep it simple since I had no clue what a cooked radish tasted like.  It turns out it's reminiscent of a beet crossed with a Brussels sprout. The cooking cuts the inherent spiciness of the radish but imparts a certain... earthiness? Anyhow, I recommend this recipe if you want to try a little something different. I feel a little silly writing out the actual recipe since it's so ridiculously easy, but here ya go:

Grilled Radish Packets

1 bunch radishes (about 14)

Olive oil

Salt & Pepper to taste

Garlic powder or other seasonings

Remove roots and greens from radishes and quarter. Place on a large sheet of heavy duty foil. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with spices. Close foil packet up securely. Place on the upper rack of a hot grill and cook for 15-20 minutes until tender.

Enjoy!

Baby Led Weaning: An Introduction

I recall being at a barbecue, about 1 year B.C. (before children) and seeing my friend Kristen's young daughter toddling around in adorable cloth diapers, munching on a stalk of raw broccoli. I was flabbergasted. Cloth diapers in 2012? Babies eating food that wasn't pureed into an unidentifiable mush? I immediately began peppering her with questions. How I adopted her cloth diaper ways is a story for another post, but I was intrigued to learn from her about this thing called Baby Led Weaning. I learned that babies, from a very early age, can eat a variety of whole food, and THEY LIKE IT! You mean I didn't have to wash blender parts, prepare 87 different recipes, or drop a small fortune in the baby food aisle to make sure my kid was getting the best food out there? Sign me up!

I did my research once The KLAW was born, and we decided to give this BLW stuff a try. I love talking about our experience with it, and find myself sharing tips over and over within my mom groups. My friend Darcy challenged me to write a blog post on the topic, and I thought it was a great idea. Not only could I reach more people, it would save me from retyping the same way-too-long facebook posts every few weeks.

Very Hungry Caterpillar

Please note: I've had one child. His personality and developmental curve led themselves to BLW. He tried everything I offered him, so much so that his first birthday had a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" theme. But remember: Every baby is different. YMMV. I hope you can use these tips, but please don't despair if your experience with your own child isn't the same as ours. As long as your kid is reasonably healthy (peeing, pooping, growing), you're doing great. And if your kid is fed a pouch or a puree - don't panic! Your kid is not broken! It's not worth ruining Christmas because a well-meaning Grandma thought little Jimmy looked hungry and needed some nom noms and shoved mashed banana in his face with a spoon.

First, what exactly is Baby Led Weaning? In my experience, it has absolutely nothing to do with weaning. The KLAW is still nursing many times a day, but also loves to eat solid food. It should be called Baby Led Food Introduction, in my opinion. Basically, you take cues from your child as to what they are ready to try in terms of solid food, and introduce accordingly. They are fed table foods, just like mama and dada eat, complete with seasonings and (unless it is a normally pureed/soft food like applesauce or mashed potatoes) they are served in easy to handle pieces. The child is offered the food, and eats as much as he wants. This supposedly teaches portion control and reduces obesity later in life. I found that some days The KLAW could put away an entire small chicken breast with some sides, and other days would rather feed the whole thing to the dog. Remember, for kids under one, food is for fun. Most of their nutrition is still coming from breastmilk or formula.

Happy to share

Signs of Readiness

This Cheeto is delish.

The signs your child is ready for solid table food become pretty obvious. He should be able to sit up, even if it's with some support in a padded high chair or bumbo. He should be showing an interest in what you are eating. We knew The KLAW was ready to start on solids when, at five months old, he grabbed a Cheeto out of his daddy's hand and started chomping on it happily. The next two signs are a kind of chicken/egg situation. The skills will start out rudimentary, but improve quickly with practice eating. The baby should be able to pick up an object in his fist, put it in its mouth, and gnaw on it. At first your kid might stab himself in the eye with a zucchini spear, then take a nibble and immediately eject it from his mouth with his tongue. NORMAL. He's learning. This will improve quickly. One difference between BLW and spoon feeding is that with BLW a baby learns to chew, then swallow, whereas with purees, the baby learns to swallow, then chew.

Next, he might get the food to the back of his mouth, but gag, and maybe even throw up. Traumatic, but again, NORMAL. Gagging is not choking. Your baby might choke on any number of food or non-food items. Knowing the baby Heimlich is important. But if your kiddo is trying to down a delicious piece of asparagus and suddenly looks and sounds like he's hacking up a hairball? Yeah, that's gagging. NORMAL. Look up BLW videos on YouTube to see what to expect. Soon your kid will go from grasping his food like a microphone to being able to pick up small pieces with his fingertips using a pincer grip. At this point your options for self-feeding increase dramatically. I honestly think that BLW helped The KLAW develop really great manual dexterity.

The KLAW was a dental prodigy from an early age. He cut his first teeth at 5 months, and is currently working on his two year molars (the final four baby teeth) at 18 months. While I think this helped speed along his affinity for solid foods, you would be freaking amazed what these little tykes can gum. The KLAW was eating bits of steak with two or four teeth. So if your child is showing all the other signs of being ready for food, don't let his gummy smile hold you back! Fun fact: Cold, raw foods with soothing properties (like cucumber) can provide teething relief, as can frozen fruits (such as grapes) offered in a mesh teether.

Pickles are delicious and feel good on my swollen gums

Allergies

Introduce new foods with caution, one food every three days or so to make sure there are no allergies. There is so much literature out there about allergies, all conflicting. Introduce peanuts too early, your child will have a peanut allergy. Don't introduce them early, your kid will have a peanut allergy. Who knows. We have no family history of food allergies, and no reason to believe our kid had any sensitivities based on the foods he received second-hand from my breast milk. So we stuck to the three day rule for a couple weeks, then just let him try whatever. I kept a list of foods he tried, so that we could back out what he might have reacted to, if he had a reaction. Process of elimination is easier when you only introduce one at a time, is the logic behind the three day rule.

Also, just because you see some redness on your kid's face, doesn't mean a trip to the ER. Consider what you just fed your child. Was is applesauce with a healthy dose of cinnamon or garlicky hummus? Did your kid smear it all over his face or drool incessantly throughout lunch? Ok, now think about how YOUR face would look if you gave yourself a cinnamon/garlic facial. Probably red and irritated. It's NORMAL. Use your mama gut, as with most things parenting-related.

But what about gluten and sugar? I dunno, but these donuts are delicious!

Honey is the one food that is an absolute no-no for any child under one. It is not an allergy situation, it is the fact that honey can contain botulism, which their little immune systems can't fight off. The botulism can't be cooked or filtered out, so can remain even in processed foods. Be mindful of honey graham cracker products, honey cereals, and honey butters. After the age of one, go nuts with the local honey, it's supposedly great to ward off those allergies!

What to feed your kid

By now you're probably thinking, ok great, but WHAT DO YOU FEED THE BABY? Again, the answer is, for the most part, whatever mama and dada are eating. I found myself modifying my meals or restaurant orders slightly to accommodate my youngin's developing palate. That means more soft finger foods to share (never order an infant a kid's meal, you'll be wasting your money). But if it tastes good to you, chances are it could taste good to your kid. Have you tasted rice cereal or "chicken pea pear" puree baby food? GROSS. If you wouldn't eat it, why would you want your kid to?

AVOCAD-NO!

Don't be afraid of spices and herbs, or dishes with several integrated ingredients. I found that The KLAW would not eat avocado, but would put away some guacamole on tortilla chips (the thin ones - super thick ones are no bueno for babies: not crumbly enough and with sharp corners). At seven months old he was eating curry, By one year he would eat salsa with a spoon. Not every kid will be like that of course, but you'll never know if you don't try. Even butter and garlic in mashed potatoes made them more appealing to my little guy. Limit salt and sugar to your discretion. Cook your food a variety of ways as you would for yourself. Roasted, grilled, or sauteed foods offer you more opportunity to infuse a little flavor than plain ol' steaming.

I set out with the intention of offering my kid wholesome healthy foods. ONLY wholesome healthy foods. File that delusion under "I was a better parent before I had a kid." When The KLAW's first food was a Cheeto, I realized that an organic, whole food, fresh-from-scratch every day lifestyle was, for us, a pipe dream. I mean, was I really going to give up Cheetos? My list of suggested foods includes nice healthy choices along with those quick and easy snack foods that are good for playdates, grocery store distractions, and other public/meltdown-inducing situations.

Stage One: Fist Grip and Gumming 

We tried one puree- Beets. It turned
our baby in to a zombie.

Start off with spear-shaped foods that little hands can grasp with a fist, leaving an end sticking out to gnaw on. Soft foods are preferable. You can also offer the child a loaded spoon (or loaded chip/cracker/bread) if the food is conducive to being eaten that way (like mashed potatoes or hummus on pita), but let him put the spoon to his mouth. Since your child is self-feeding, and is, let's be honest, still kind of a spazz, there will be a mess. Put the food directly on the high chair tray to avoid projectile bowls, invest in a good bib with a pocket to catch wayward morsels, lay down a tarp under the high chair (or get a dog), and stock up on washcloths. In early days, you might find that a sample of solid food simply whets your nursling's appetite for boob juice.

Stage Two: Pincer Grip

You can introduce smaller items now that they have chewing and swallowing down for the most part and can pick up little items with their fingertips. Things like blueberries, hot dogs and grapes can be introduced but should be monitored as they are choking hazards. To be safe, cut into non-windpipe sized pieces before serving. You can pre-cut bites of cooked meat or other knife-and-fork type foods for your kid





Stage Three: Utensils and Dipping

Offer your child a kiddie fork or spoon when they seem interested. At some point kids might begin to prefer to eat EVERYTHING off a fork, including whole dinner rolls, or want to dip all their food in some sort of sauce like ranch dressing or ketchup. At this point fingers may still be used too. Offer food pre-cut for little mouths. This toddler phase can include whatever you're having at mealtime.







Good First Foods for Stages One and Two

Fruits
Dried or Freeze-dried fruits (mango, pineapple, prunes, apricots, raisins, etc)
Apples (baked or sauce)
Banana
Kiwi
Oranges (Cuties or other seedless varieties)
Peaches or other stonefruit
Pears
Strawberries (and later smaller berries)

Veggies
Asparagus
Avocado (or Guacamole with chips)
Broccoli (cooked or raw)
Butternut Squash
Carrot sticks (cooked at first)
Cauliflower
Cucumber spears
Green Beans
Pepper strips (green, yellow, red - raw or cooked)
Potatoes (roasted wedges or mashed)
Sweet Potatoes (baked "fries" or mashed)
Zucchini spears

Grains, Proteins & Dairy
Cheese sticks
Egg (scrambled, hardboiled, quiche, etc.)
Hummus (on pita or pretzels)
Meats (soft meats like pulled pork or brisket, poultry in strips or chunks, ground beef etc)
Pancakes (or waffles)
Pasta (shapes like bowtie or penne are good, with any type of sauce)
Peanut Butter Toast fingers (or with jelly!)
Quesadillas
Refried Beans
Seafood
Tofu
Yogurt

Snacks
Animal Crackers
Goldfish
Lentil/Pea snap snacks
Pickles
Pirate Booty (cheaper than the Gerber puffs)
Pretzels (rods are good)
Salsa
Veggie Straws (in the chip aisle or healthfood section)

Pea snacks from TJ's

Resources

The main online resource for Baby Led Weaning is, naturally, babyledweaning.com. They have a facebook group as well. Wholesome Baby Food is another site many moms like for their healthy recipes, most of which are purees but is a good resource for baby nutrition in general and has a section on BLW. And of course, consult your pediatrician. She may think you're bonkers (mine gave me side-eye when, at his six-month appointment, I told her The KLAW had tried 40 foods already.), but can advise you on allergies and other factors particular to your baby's development.

Yum! Who doesn;t love fair corn?

Happy eating, and please feel free to contact me with any questions!

Upcycled Pringles Can -> Spaghetti Canister

You know how when you open a box of spaghetti and use only half, the remaining open box is a pain to store. It won't stand up, and if you lay it down the noodles are likely to slide out. One day my husband was grabbing something from the pantry and the open spaghetti box went tumbling, getting dried pasta in every crevice. To add insult to injury, as he flung everything out of the pantry in an effort to clean it up, he cause a two liter bottle of soda to explode all over the kitchen, which he then had to clean up too. Then I discovered this solution! Did you know that spaghetti is slightly shorter than a Pringles can? Well, now you do. This is the easier DIY project that has solved one of life's little irritations without having to spend $20 for a specialty canister.

1. Gently rinse out an empty Pringles canister and let it dry.
2. Choose a piece of 12x12 scrapbook paper or two sheets of 8.5x11 (letter) paper. I chose a yellow stripe since it resembles spaghetti noodles
3. Cut the paper to size to fit the height of the can within the rings around the top and base (mine was 10 3/8" I think)
4. Coat the back of the paper with a glue stick, making sure to get all the way up to the edges.
5. Wrap the paper around the tube. Secure with rubber bands until dry.
6. Decorate the outside however you like. I very creatively wrote "Spaghetti" on the top and side.
7. Put your noodles in and store safely away!

Pretty simple, huh?

30 things about me

I like lists. I am not super goal oriented, but lists give me something to strive for and a sense of completion. I published this list on Facebook on February 2, 2009 - 30 random things about me as I was about to turn 30.

1. I have been a vegetarian for over 13 years. In that time I have intentionally eaten meat on 3 occasions: French onion soup in Paris in 1999 with Lara, and then last year I had octopus and a mussel at Las Ramblas with Lucia, Cathy and Aisha; and ate random meats in China, including duck heart, feet and tongue; shark fin soup; sea cucumber, etc.
2. I have had the same cell phone number and provider since I got my first phone in 2000. My number spells 61-PALM-TREES (leave off the last S for Savings)
3. I have never broken a bone, but have had surgery on my lazy eye twice (at ages 2 & 12). That eye is a little far-sighted, and the other is severely near-sighted.
4. I have truly been in love three times.
5. I have been to 41 of the 50 states (plus DC and PR), and hope to get to the rest soon! I have also been to 13 countries.
6. I have funky thumbs that look like toes (Caroline dubbed them my thoes)
7. I am very sensitive to high pitched noises. I can if the TV is on (but the cable box is off) from the next room.
8. I get great joy knowing that my ex-husband’s friends still want to be friends with me, but my friends and family would only ever want to see him again to cause him bodily harm.
9. Easter is my favorite holiday because it symbolizes ducks, bunnies, chocolate, Spring, and the approach of my birthday (twice in my life they were on the same day; one of those times I had the chicken pox).
10. I have traveled by car, sailboat, bus, ferry, U-Haul, motorcycle, ferry, airplane, helicopter, bicycle, taxi, parachute, toboggan, motorboat, innertube, chair-lift, kayak, subway, paddle boat, monorail, elevator, ice skates, skis (cross-country and downhill), foot, commuter rail, canoe, cable car, trolley, cog railway, wave runner, moving walkway, el, catamaran, big wheel, light rail, zipline, coach, limo, whitewater raft, tram, escalator, regional rail, party bike, vaporetto, mine train, red wagon, rollerblades/skates, pontoon boat, skateboard, people mover, wheelchair, hovercraft, high-speed train, gondola lift, rubber-tyred metro, Town Car. I have never traveled by Gondola, horse & buggy, jet-ski, rickshaw, pedi-cab, jet pack, magic carpet, balloon, dirigible, hang glider, hydrofoil, or rocket.
11. I am a terrible housekeeper. I hate doing dishes and laundry especially.
12. I drink my coffee (and tea) black.
13. I recently lost 30 lbs, and weigh about what I did in Junior High. I also have bangs now for the first time since then.
14. I am fully confident that the Cubs will win the World Series in my lifetime.
15. I am sometimes ashamed of my career given my education. I know certain family members are disappointed in me, but I am happy in my new career.
16. I am a Jane of all trades, but a master of none.
17. I don’t think I am as good a person as I was when I was half my age. I would like to write a memoir about my quest to get back to that person. It would be called “From Nerdy to Thirty”
18. Life is too short for single-ply toilet paper.
19. I have been to 202 restaurants in the2009 NYC Zagat’s Guide, and am going to #203 tonight.
20. My first memories, around the age of 2, are of being told I couldn’t do something that I felt I was capable of; being nervous I couldn’t do something expected of me, or being afraid of getting in trouble for something I did.
21. I moved to NYC on September 1, 2001. I didn’t know the buildings I saw burning 10 days later were the WTC until I got up to my office on 26th Street and was told by coworkers. I thought they were apartment buildings.
22. I get grey hairs *and* pimples. WTF?
23. I have had several people tell me I am like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite. And truth be told, about 16 years ago, I was!
24. My favorite color is turquoise.
25. I have a tattoo of a rubber ducky, and am thinking about getting a second tattoo. Pretty much everyone in my mom’s family has a tattoo, including my Gram, who got hers (a whisky logo) just shy of her 80th birthday.
26. My feet have very high arches, and I am both flattered and uncomfortable when people notice.
27. I have two cats, Boo (my fat black pussycat) who is 8 or 9 years old and kinda mean and Duke (el tigre) who is about 6 and very needy but empathetic.
28. I am not really the kind of person to get nicknamed, but people in my life have called me kJ (Dad), KK (Doug), Mush (Carol), Kitty (Tudor) and Katie-Kates (Anna)
29. I am very loyal to, and willing to pay extra for, Dove deodorant, Aveeno moisturizer, DVR, and my unlimited MetroCard.
30. Two items on my bucket list are learning to ride a motorcycle and taking trapeze lessons.

Chapter 13: Turning Thirty

I am officially the big three-oh. Honestly it doesn’t feel much different than twenty-nine. Some little things that have happened since my birthday have set me off a bit. For example, I watched the movie Baby Mama in which the main character has to hire a surrogate to carry her baby because, at thirty-seven, she is unable to conceive. A week ago I would have seen the character’s age as nearly a decade more than mine. But now at thirty, it is as if we are peers, and her plight could soon become mine. Plus I realized that I will have to check the “30-35” box when my demographic information is collected, and that just stings. But these are just little twinkles of frustration that pass quickly as I remind myself that I have decided that thirty is going to be my best year yet. It certainly can’t be worse than twenty-nine.

All-in-all I had a pretty great birthday. It started off early when I went to my favorite restaurant, Zoë on Friday. When I told the bartender I would be celebrating my birthday that weekend, he surprised me with a scoop of gelato with a candle in it. It was coconut, which I don’t usually like, but this one was delicious. It was so sweet of him, and it reminded me why that is one of my favorite places to go.

Because my actual birthday was on a Tuesday, I had my celebration on the Saturday prior. A dozen of my friends joined me for dinner at Spitzer’s Corner on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Another seven joined us for drinks after dinner at a bar called The Skinny. We had a big communal table for dinner, and a private area at the bar, so everyone was able to mingle and chat. I have several different groups of friends and I love when they can meet and interact. A couple friends came bearing gifts, which was a huge surprise and I was very thankful.

Despite being surrounded by such a large group of great friends, it was a little bittersweet. This may come off as really trite and ungrateful, but in the moments as we left the restaurant I thought to myself, “I would trade all these friends for one person who thought to tell the waitress it was my birthday so she would have sent over a little dessert.” It’s not that I wanted the sweets or for the whole restaurant to bust out a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday to You.” It was just a bit of a realization (one that I’ve felt often in the bustle of New York City) that amidst the crowd, I was alone.

Growing up I was never the kind of person who needed a huge circle of friends. My mom always thought it was weird when, as a child, I would have only one really close friend at a time: Sara, Devon, Erika, Lindsay, Becky, Erica. When one of us would change schools, or if we had a falling out, I would eventually find a replacement. When I got to high school and discovered boys, my one-track devotion often turned to the guys I dated. I was not part of any clique in high school. My (mostly male) friends were all very different from each other and not really friends with each other, like spokes on a bicycle, with me as the axis. Yet I was fiercely devoted to these individuals in rotating succession.

One prime example of this stands out to me to this day. In the spring of my junior year, I turned down an invitation to prom from a guy friend of mine because the girl who I considered my best friend at the time disapproved. Later that summer, she and I had a big fight. At the time, I had summer job working with the guy who’d asked me to prom and we had gotten very close. I realized that my ex-best friend’s opinion had really clouded my judgment, and immediately after the fight with my girlfriend I let the guy know I had been interested in him. We were together until I went off to college over a year later. To this day I still consider my relationship with my “high school sweetheart” to be the easiest and most successful I’ve had. But even with him, our relationship was pretty much the only one I needed.

I think it’s pretty common for couples to “drop off the face of the earth” and enter their own little world of two. I don’t really know what co-dependence is, but I’d have to think it’s something along those lines. I have tried to learn over time how to balance aspects of my romantic relationships, friendships and my Self, but it a struggle. I am a passionate person, and when that passion endears me to another, I focus in on that individual and give them my all.

For a time in college I became somewhat of a serial monogamist. I would stay in a relationship well past its expiration date, until someone new caught my eye. I would quickly end the first relationship and jump headfirst into the next. I think this stemmed from the fact that I was shy in relationships and did not want to stir up drama. So if something annoyed me, I would let it fester until I was so bothered that I was ready to move on. I knew it was not healthy and by the end of college had broken the pattern. However, now I have been told I am “brutally honest,” which I think is a good thing because I am putting my feelings out there. However, I have had my heart broken every time I’ve worn it on my sleeve.

In sharp contrast to my somewhat shy, loner childhood, I decided to join the Alpha Chi Omega sorority during my freshman year of college. I hoped that this group of girls would help me in part be able to develop better friendships with women and also have a group of friends to rely on, rather than one individual. It turns out that is exactly what happened. While the guys came and went, and as I developed friendships with various groups of people across campus, my sorority sisters were the one constant in my life. It is because of them, I think, that I gained any sense of confidence in social settings and interpersonal relationships. It is many of these women, some who live in New York and some who are scattered across the country, whom I still consider my dearest friends today. In fact, now that I think about it, the three AXOs who were at my party were the same guests who came with gifts in hand.

Given that my party was a few days before my big day, I had been really worried about how I would spend my actual birthday. I didn’t want to pester everyone who came out on Saturday to go out again on that Tuesday. Luckily, two of my best girlfriends here in the city were away on weekend trips the day of my party, so offered to take me to dinner on the seventh. It was a huge relief to me, to know I would not be wallowing alone on the sofa with my two cats on my thirtieth birthday.

The three of us went to a cute wine bar called Terroir in the East Village and sat at the bar. When we finished our meal, my one friend made a huge scene, having me pick out a dessert and telling the bartender very blatantly that it was my birthday. That totally made my day, and made me feel like an asshole for thinking what I did at my party on Saturday. Maybe everyone in the group of 13 assumed someone else would say something. Who knows. In any case, by the time I was blowing out the candles on my desserts, I had reverted back to my optimistic approach to being thirty.

In addition to my two evening get-togethers, I had many other occasions to feel blessed. On my birthday, my boss picked up a fruit torte and gathered the office together for a mid-afternoon fête. Throughout the week I received and overwhelming number of phone calls, e-mails, packages & gifts, e-cards and greeting cards from friends and family. I had about 50 messages come into my Facebook inbox or posted to my wall. For this latter surge of birthday wishes I was pleased for entirely kooky reasons. As an admitted Facebook addict, I had set (and reached) the random goal to have four hundred Facebook friends by my birthday. I also hoped that on that day, ten percent of my friends would write to me. I don’t know why exactly. Perhaps it harkens back to the notion of feeling alone in a crowd. Maybe I just need to feel connected.

On my thirtieth birthday, I definitely felt connected. The love poured in from across the country in forms electronic, tangible and physical. I am blessed to know more than 400 people – old friends, new friends, friends who aren’t even on Facebook, and of course family – who care about me and support me. I may not have seen some of them in half a lifetime, but I think our shared experiences connect us by gossamer threads across time and place. And for that I am truly, and forever, grateful.

Chapter 9: The Meat I Eat

Over the course of the last year or so, my life has undergone some dramatic changes. As a reaction to this upheaval, I made a decision to "try new things," since the way I was doing things didn't seem to be working. One of those things is to taste meats I may not have been exposed to before I became vegetarian in 1995. Additionally, eating meat here and there serves as a bit of an internal "F-you" to an ex-husband who promised in our marriage vows to always cook me vegetarian food.

I grew up in a meat-and-potatoes kind of family, in which Chinese food meant Green Giant frozen stir fry mix. Not to knock my mom's cooking, but there are only so many times you can have turkey tetrazzini in one lifetime. So in a way, vegetarianism opened up doors to new foods like chick peas, brussels sprouts, tofu, quinoa, etc. Born out of the necessity to eat a well-balanced diet, I was able to discover a whole new world of foods available to me.

Now, I live in one of the most amazing culinary cities in the world, so why limit myself from the experiene of trying even more new things? I was inspired by Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain who are known for traveling the world trying bizarre and exotic foods. My revised life view makes me think of the scene in Chasing Amy, in which Alyssa describes her justification of dating a man after many years of lesbianism:

Alyssa: You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you - it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.

Holden: Still am.

Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.

Holden: [pause] Well, can I at least tell people all you needed was some serious deep dicking?

So, much like Alyssa, I am justifying eating a little meat now and again because I got here on my own terms. I generally just try one little bite of anything, so don't feel like I have turned my back on my convictions entirely

Below is a list of meats I have intentionally eaten since becoming vegetarian.

• French Onion Soup, Paris, Summer 1999
• Caviar, I forget when & where
• A mussel & grilled octopus, Las Ramblas, NYC, 9/2?/2008
  


• Snowfish, crab and shrimp, Beijing, 12/8/2008
• Duck feet, tongue, sausage,
  
  Abalone, sea cucumber,
  
  Shark fin soup, pate, fish cake
  
  Peking Duck
  
  Duck heart, giant prawn, Beijing, 12/8/2008
• Fish eyeball, Lan Club, Beijing, 12/11/08
  
• Cocoa rubbed ostrich, filet mignon, black pepper seared tuna, Meritage, Boston, 3/7/2009
  
• Chicken fried steak, Marfa, NYC, 3/19/2009
• Frog legs, Tia Pol, NYC, 3/21/09
• Duck ham panini, Terroir, NYC 4/7/09
  
• Wagyu beef nachos,
  
  fried oysters, and chicken wings with white BBQ sauce, Craftsteak, NYC 4/16/09
  
• Frog Legs, Las Ramblas, NYC, 4/30/2008
• Tuna & Salmon roll (with asparagus & mushroom), Sushi Samba, NYC, 5/14/09
  
• Tuna Tartare, Opia, NYC, 5/20/09
  
• Bacon and Blue Cheese Butter, 10th and Willow, Hoboken, NJ, 5/22/09

So how did I enjoy all these exotic meats? I thought the octopus to be ok, but basically tasted like smoked gouda. This one "shrimp" thing I had in China was actually quite nice & buttery, but they weren't able to translate what it was into English, so I suppose I'll never know. And surprisingly, I didn't mind the duck heart one bit! The ostrich had a good texture, it melted in your mouth. The filet mignon (the very same dish that turned me vegetarian almost 15 years ago, upon realizing that the meat was actually flesh, and the red juices, blood) was not at all appealing, seemingly sinewy when served alongside the tender ostrich. Just goes to show my tastes haven't changed all the much! I didn't enjoy the sushi very much, it was mushy and a little flavorless. Nothing I have tried has converted me back to being a full-fledged omnivore, but it has made for some fun dinners. And no, none of it has made me sick. I don't think I have consumed a big enough serving of meat in one go to upset my generally strong stomach.

In an ideal world, I'd have a little farm and raise my own chickens for eggs or even meat, and goats for cheese, etc. etc. I feel if I could raise and slaughter my own meat, I could better justify eating it. But that's a little difficult in a one-bedroom New York City apartment. So until then, I may as well explore! However, I did not go so far as to try this, in Beijing's night market:

P.S. Holden's last line in the above quote makes me laugh, because I have always thought of Dead Eye Dick's New Age Girl (Mary Moon) as a classic (albeit tongue in cheek) vegetarian theme song. I'll let you draw your own correlations between the needs of vegetarians and lesbians. But in case you were wondering, studies show vegetarians have better sex! (this link NSFW)